Sermons

Sexual Purity    

Introduction

Read 1 John 3:2-3.  Can you imagine? This is what it is all about – this is what we should seek above all else.  If this is our hope, it should have a profound impact on our lives.  If I want to be like Him forever, I’ll want to be like Him now.  Are you pure?  Are you seeking purity?  Are you sexually pure?

Our shepherds asked that I present a lesson on sexual purity.  In wisdom and love, they watch over our souls and recognize this is a constant danger for every one of us.  Satan is walking around like a roaring lion and he constantly waits to ambush us in sexual sin.

Outline

I.     God’s will, Sexual purity

A.   God Designed Marriage and Sexual Relationship (Ge. 1:26-27, 31; 2:7, 18-25)

1.     Creation of Man and Marriage:

-        God made man “in His own image” (Ge. 1:26-27) and saw that “it was very good” (Ge. 1:31)

-        God formed Adam from dust and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life (2:7)

-        God observed a great need for man, and an incompleteness and said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (2:18)

-        No other living creature on earth was suitable for Adam (2:19-20)

-        God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, took one of his ribs, fashioned the rib into a woman and brought her to him (2:21-22)

-        Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.” (2:23)

-        “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (2:24)

-        “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (2:25)

2.     Marriage is a “one flesh” relationship, a beautiful relationship of oneness and unity designed by God

3.     Marriage is a relationship of holiness and joy – sexual holiness and sexual joy

4.     You are more than a body, you are a spiritual being.  Therefore sex is designed to be more than a physical union.

5.     Within God’s design you become one with your lover spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, affectionately and not just physically. 

6.     Joy in sexual relationship is possible within marriage, not the sexual licentiousness in the world

-        Sexual joy intensifies, not fizzles out

-        It is committed, not casual

-        It is service, not selfish

7.     We are not animals we were made in the image of holy God.

B.   Honor Marriage (He. 13:4)

1.     Honor (timios G5093) is “valued, of great price, precious, honored;” marriage is one of the most valued and precious gifts from God in this life (if not the most valued). We must treat it as such!

2.     The bed is to be “undefiled” (amiantos G283) which means “untainted, free from contamination”

3.     The condemnation of “fornicators” and “adulterers” makes it clear that marriage is to be honored and the bed undefiled when you are married and before you are married

-        Any sexual activity before you are married dishonors God’s design, contaminating the holy bed

-        Any sexual activity outside of marriage, dishonors marriage and defiles the bed

4.     Remember, this is God’s design – intended for our good – intended for holiness and joy

5.     Yet our culture only dishonors marriage and defiles the bed; Satan has perverted God’s design

C.   Sanctification and Self-Control (1 Th. 4:1-8)

1.     The Greco-Roman culture was obsessed with sex much like our modern American culture, therefore Paul writes to this young church stressing the need for holiness through sexual purity

2.     Paul emphasizes sanctification/holiness, stating, “this is the will of God” (4:3) and “God has called us for this purpose” (4:7)

3.     Holiness in this context means:

-        “you abstain from sexual immorality” (4:3)

-        “know how to possess your vessel in sanctification and honor” (4:4)

-        “not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (4:5)

4.     “Sexual immorality” (porneia G4202), translated “fornication,” “immorality” and “sexual immorality”

-        A “general word for unlawful and immoral sexual intercourse and relationships” (Barclay)

-        Disregards spiritual fullness for wanton pleasure in the body

-        It objectifies your partner rather than upholding your lover in honor

5.     Holiness (especially) in regards to sexual purity is a life of self control; you control your emotions and impulses; you are not an animal but a spiritual being made in the image of holy God

6.     The world, our society, our culture “who does not know God” directs their bodies in lustful passions, giving into impulses and emotions, and despicably encourage all others to do the same

-        Those that encourage and challenge us to give into natural impulses and urges are overwhelmingly hypocritical and blinded by lust

-        Should a human being obey every urge that comes into mind? The urge to kill? The urge to lie? The urge to be selfish and inconsiderate? The urge to steal? The urge to destroy another one by slander?  The urge to take another man's wife? The urge to sleep?

-        We are called to control impulses and urges in many spheres of life; sexual activity as well

7.     “He who rejects this is not rejecting man but God” (4:8)

D.   Not Even a Hint (Ep. 5:3)

1.     Perhaps you dabble in sexual activity; maybe you “just mess around;” maybe you “just look”

2.     Paul condemns “immorality or any impurity” (Ep. 5:3)

3.     The NIV, “there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality”

4.     This is not a line you walk up to or try to balance on, you stay far away from the line

5.     E.g. God said “you shall not eat” (Ge. 2:17) and Eve understood she should “not eat it or touch it” (Ge. 3:3).  The closer she got, the easier it was to fall.

E.    A Matter of the Heart (Mt. 5:27-30)

1.     Jesus equates lust with adultery; He places them side by side

2.     Jesus condemns looking with lust

-        You may not be able to control what you see, but you can control what you look at

3.     The seriousness and severity of this sin is amplified by Jesus’ warning to cut off all stumbling blocks

-        We tend to take this lightly, but Jesus does not

-        This is a matter of eternal torment in hell

4.     Jesus identifies the source of sin, our hearts

5.     Cf. Mt. 15:19 “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders”

[Certainly God’s will is clear.  Yet temptation is strong.  I would like to share principles, warnings and offer suggestions to help us honor marriage, keep the bed undefiled and therefore glorify God in our sexual purity.]

II.   Principles, Suggestions and Warnings

A.   “Do Not Go Near the Door” (Pr. 5:8)

1.     The wise man warns his son, not even to go near her door.

2.     You know the people, places, activities, websites, etc. that lead to temptation and stumbling.  Stay far away.  As Jesus said, it may take radical and drastic amputations, but stay far away.

3.     What are your gateway activities and pitfalls?

-        Facebook? Tumblr? IMDB? Youtube? Netflix? Hulu? Pay-per-view? The checkout aisle?

-        Satan has littered sexual smut all over this world. 

B.   “Flee immorality” (1 Co. 6:18; Ge. 39:6-20; cf. 2 Ti. 2:22)

1.     Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife

2.     Consider reasons Joseph could’ve used to give in:

-        Hormones are raging, the impulses are too great to control

-        She wants me – I’m good looking

-        She’s persistent and won’t leave me alone

-        No one will know

-        My family won’t find out

-        God has abandoned me

3.     Fleeing from sexual sin cost Joseph greatly, it cost him many years in a dark Egyptian prison

4.     Yet Joseph’s principle and conviction was more costly and he held marriage in honor

5.     Listen to Joseph’s conviction:

-        Your husband trusts me (39:8-9)

-        “How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?” (39:9)

C.   Don’t Think You Are Too Strong to Fall (1 Co. 10:12)

1.     Paul was aware of his own weakness and the potential he might fall (cf. 9:24-27)

2.     Paul shared several examples of Israel falling in sin despite their overwhelming spiritual gifts (10:1-11)

3.     You better not think you can flirt with circumstances and activities that arouse temptation without falling into sin

4.     Don't think you can put yourself in a dangerous situation and make it out with your purity.

D.   Don’t Be a Stumbling Block

1.     Be aware of the way your behavior impacts others (your partner, your children, your younger siblings, your roommates)

2.     Beware of the appearance of evil

3.     Beware of your influence

4.     Beware of placing a stumbling block before another Christian

5.     College students, you enjoy new freedoms and responsibilities

-        Don’t abuse your freedom by impure circumstances with the opposite sex

-        Even if nothing happens behind the closed door or in the empty apartment

E.    Beware of Satan’s Lies

1.     Some of Satan’s Lies: "It's natural," "everyone does this," "no harm looking," "we plan to get married," “you’re old fashioned,” “you’re naïve,” “Did God really say___?” “God did not say ___”

2.     “He or she loves me”

-        Ladies, if he is pressuring you to give into lust and be sexually active he's not mature enough in the Lord to be the spiritual leader

-        Men, if she is pressuring you to give into lust and be sexually active she's not the virtuous woman you need at this point

3.     Those of you who are engaged, be careful.  Satan will whisper all kinds of lies in your ear to get your to break your covenant of purity – to get you to defile your marriage bed.

-        Don’t let Satan pervert what God intends for your holiness and joy, into something soiled and dishonorable

F.    Think Biblically, Think God’s Way

1.     We must think about sexual sins biblically.

2.     Satan uses culture and media to soften our thinking regarding the vile nature of this sin. 

3.     On the outside we may still oppose it, but in our hearts we long for it. 

4.     We begin to crave nearness and even the briefest thrill. 

-        Warm flashes of interest grow to burning fires of passion.

-        Put out the fire however big or small with God’s word. 

5.     See sexual sin as God sees it.  See sexual joy as He designed it.  Think as God thinks, want what God wants. 

6.     “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Ro. 12:2).

G.   Practical Tips:

1.     Pray at the beginning of a date

2.     Stay in “family rooms” and stay out of bedrooms

3.     Keep the door open

4.     Beware of late nights – if others go to bed, it is time to leave

5.     Beware of alone time

6.     Keep your hands to yourself

7.     This is not biblical law, these are only my suggestions. 

-        I would imagine anyone who has struggled with sexual sin or anyone who has fallen into sexual sin would agree with these suggestions.

H.   Are You Pure?  Are You Purifying Yourself?

Conclusion

You know God’s will, you have the information, what will you do with it? Will you honor God or dishonor God?  Despite Satan’s lies, there really is no gray area when it comes to sexual sin; it is very black and white.  Do you honor marriage and keep the bed undefiled? Do you dishonor marriage and contaminate the bed (even with a “little” filth)?

If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.  My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.  And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the father, Jesus Christ the righteous, and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the whole world. (1 Jn. 1:8-2:2)

Beloved, now we are children of God and it has not appeared as yet what we will be.  We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.  And everyone who has this hope on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.